'OW MUCH IS IT THEN?
Hang on, hang on. Patience is the mother of ...er, someone. Miss Guided? If you're
told the price now you may run away. You need to be pre-conditioned. Conditioner
protects you from shocks (don't try
this at home).
But really, what's the hurry? If it's a FANTASTIC DEAL you'll find the price
on the page. If it's FANTASTIC VALUE brace yourself, and you'll
find the price when you Add To Shopping Cart... after you've learned
that you NEED this product.
If you want out - and want out badly
- go straight to Paypal
 Remember: It's a crime to convince others they need something completely useless
only if it's something they really, really don't need. It's the Ferengi rule of Long
Sales Letters. Comparatively speaking, Ferengi are an honest people though; so let's not drag
them into this.
The time's come for you to be Convinced. And for that American is so, so much cooler than English.
Partly because it uses centered text. And partly because it isn't embarrassed to
add <bold>, <red>, and <large font>.
Take 3 Easy Steps And Own
Your Own Awesome Money Machine. It's 100% Able To Give You Massive Residual
Income... Read This Letter And I'll Tell You Why I Am Parting With This Money
Machine So YOU Can Get Rich Within 24 Hours, Guaranteed!
See, you didn't miss that, did ya?
Key points recap:
- IT'S EASY
- IT'S FROM SOMEONE WHO KNOWS
HOW TO MAKE MONEY
- IT HAS WORDS LIKE "MASSIVE", "AWESOME" and "MIND-BLOWING"
WHAT'S THAT? TALK IN LOWER CASE? WHY?
OK, just don't blame him if you don't get the message. He's only trying to
point out that the product has
-
a feel good factor ("100%" always feels good)
-
immediacy (who can wait more than one day to get rich?)
-
guaranteed residual income (Americans have MLM in their
DNA; "residual income" may be explained for other nationalities)
-
a requirement that there's no work on your part (or very little)
The only effort required of you is
Clicking That Paypal Button. Even an idiot can do that, right?
|
 |
In case you don't understand "100% guaranteed", I've
included an image to illustrate. It looks like a seal of some sort so
builds credibility. Establishing credibility is important before
picking someone's pocket. |
Paypal button is at
bottom of this page.
But you insist you're not convinced?
-
Time to get the kitsch out. Lurid yellow
highlight works. You can taste last night's dinner again? Never mind. Concentrate on
the Great Opportunity and on the bold text
-
You'll soon see images of cheques showing $9,231.46 earned in 8 days
and they'll be like works of (Photoshop) art! Yes, $9,231.46 in 8
days
-
Impressive? You want in on the secret? No problem.
You, too, can make $9321.46 in 8 days.
-
In fact YOU sounds better that "you". So,
YOU too, can make
$9321.46 in 8 days.
 The amount is specific because specific is believable.
Truth is even more believable e.g. the quickest way to get to $9231.46 is to
start with $20,000 and lose $10,768.54 in advertising. You KNOW
that that's true. On the other hand do you know better than to disclose truth in Sales Letters? Award yourself a star! You're getting smarter already. When you complete the Paypal transaction at the end of the page you'll be a
whole 7.3% more intelligent.
The product is INCREDIBLY EASY. If the author, who has all these natural -
and feigned - spelling and grammatical mistakes, can make $9231.46,
so can YOU.
Why settle for other opportunities to make just a
little money? It's so easy my grandmother could do it. Even without her internet
connection and email password!
Because the idea sells itself he's paid a professional Long Sales Letter Copywriter a large
sum of money to put together his killer sales pitch for him.
Yes, the more a product sells itself the more you have to spend on marketing it.
 Notice how I have no ads on this page? I hate ads. I hate how the
contemptuous little b*stards steal space on the page, how they trick you into
clicking, how they flash and animate and beg like prostitutes for the slightest
attention? Do you like creepy, disease-ridden insects? No, you don't, and that's good,
because now I'm empathising with YOU and getting YOU on side ... and the closer
YOU get the easier it is to sandbag YOU.
Oops, did I say that aloud? You should be moving towards the
closing arguments; put your feet up and stop struggling with paragraphs. Keep
moving, keep moving. With your feet up. Keep moving and
-
The letter will give YOU bonuses to act
now.
It's a limited
time deal - the author doesn't want to keep selling the e-book and
making money forever!
-
Act now, because everybody wants a copy (of course!) - and he hasn't
printed enough e-books.
-
Because there's so much of demand and not enough stock he's giving away
five free bonuses
just to persuade YOU to act now.
-
Hey, it's all about YOU, YOU, YOU. They'll even let YOU in on
this secret way of
making $9231.46 in 8 days. But YOU have to
act now.
In case you missed it, you do need to
ACT NOW.
By now, if you aren't convinced there's at least some merit in the product,
YOU haven't been listening. Let's go through the numbers again.
If you weren't impressed by $9231.46 per 8 days how about this?
$421,185.36 per year!
Yes, that's how much YOU will make. MASSIVE.
ALMOST HALF A
MILLION DOLLARS EVERY SINGLE YEAR
for the rest of your life! It could even be
A MILLION, OR MORE!
Don't believe it? See the cheque below for $1,000,000? It's even got a
stamp on it saying "This is a genuine cheque, promise", so you know it's kosher. Now look
at the figures again:
A CHECK FOR ONE MILLION DOLLARS!
Yes, my friends, that's how much YOU can make.
|
The page is narrow to fit any screen size resolution and if you
have to scroll the only direction is... down, down, down. Towards
the Paypal button. A fool and his money are soon parted, but you're no fool;
so you can't be rushed to the end.
God
speaks through me and I'm telling ya this product kicks butt.
It's like teaching a child to read. Once you do that he or her will
pass a literacy test. That's why I recommend it personally by my
wife.
(Template information
for author of sales letter:
Replace the below text with your own testimonial in each of these
four yellow boxes. Then delete this text.)
